It is hard to explain to a loving person who can only give, what the refusal to receive does to would-be givers. If our gifts come out of the substance of who we are, to refuse our gifts is a rejection of our very self. At the same time, the turning away of a gift destroys the reciprocity of love. In place of mutuality, it sets up a hierarchy of love that makes the one who always receives and whose gifts are refused feel empty, powerless, and incompetent to love well, and so unable in turn to receive from the beloved with a grateful heart.
Healing does not necessarily mean to become physically well or to be able to get up and walk around again.Rather, it means achieving a balance between the physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual dimensions. . . .At the end of their lives [five-year-old children with leukemia] they have little or no pain.They are emotionally sound, and on an intellectual level they can share things it is almost impossible to believe could come from a child.To me this is a healing, although they are not well from our earthly point of view.