To live a surrendered life is to be present moment to moment with our experience, to accept our experience without judging it. Or if we judge it, to forgive ourselves for defending, for pushing away. To be with our experience does not mean that we do not space out, detach, disappear emotionally. It means that we become increasingly aware of when we dissociate and gently bring ourselves back. This "bringing ourselves back" is the essence of meditation. To meditate, it is not necessary to stop thinking. But it is necessary to become aware of the thoughts as they happen, to see how they take us out of the silence. To see how they prevent us from being wholly present.
Fountain of Light: from that light flows the light that is essential for the very existence of life, and the light of understanding in which the point of life, its meaning, its purpose and direction, can, within our limited capacity, be grasped. Divine light, not artificial, not intermittent, seasonal, or subject to power cuts. But issuing from God as from a fountain ceaselessly playing, springing up endlessly and joyously, irradiating the uttermost parts of the universe, suffusing the darkest corners of the human heart.