It could take a tribe to find the way back to what you love. A day's wandering could become a season, then another. At times it may all signal chaos. But take heart. Sometimes there is intelligence even in the crumbling of things.
The creek is wearing its usual disguise, braiding and unbraiding itself through narrows and pools as it pleases, proving its force by taking the path of least resistance, taking apart the stone one grain at a time.
If you were water, what part of your will would you be willing to dissolve? Which of your ways would you have to learn not to want to have? And how, if you always ran downstream, would your desire know how to live?
A fragment of fence long trampled by those who needed most to pass. Pilgrim, immigrant, refugee, all journeys severe, all made in longing. Most cross over what's already breached, but the step is long and touches down In a world that takes heart in the breaking of what divides.
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Doctor, you say there are no haloes
around the streetlights in Paris
and what I see is an aberration
caused by old age, an affliction.
I tell you it has taken me all my life
to arrive at the vision of gas lamps as angels,
to soften and blur and finally banish
the edges you regret I don't see,
to learn that the line I called the horizon
does not exist and sky and water,
so long apart, are the same state of being.
Fifty-four years before I could see
Rouen cathedral is built
of parallel shafts of sun,
and now you want to restore
my youthful errors: fixed
notions of top and bottom,
the illusion of three-dimensional space,
wisteria separate
from the bridge it covers...
I will not return to a universe
of objects that don't know each other,
as if islands were not the lost children
of one great continent....
Doctor,
if only you could see
how heaven pulls earth into its arms
and how infinitely the heart expands
to claim this world, blue vapor without end.
~ Lisel Mueller, "Monet Refuses the Operation" in SECOND LANGUAGE